Or you could say there is never a coincidence. I am not nearly smart enough or all knowing enough to say that I would always know the meaning or reasoning behind all that happens in this world we have created, however I have this trust that it will always, from this moment on, work to serve my highest good.
This month has been rough and has tested my Faith beyond what I even knew I was capable of. I have experienced major losses this month, but have gained in major ways too.
My grandmother passed away, and I lost $1,100 of my income this month.
I thank the Divine that my grandmother is no longer suffering and it was and is my most sincere prayer that she is at One again. My mother seems to be coping better then I expected. I am so thankful for that. You never know how death will affect you. You may think you will cope with it just fine, but you never know until you experience that loss first hand. I expected it. I understood the facts. I was supportive to mom and rationalized my grandmothers passing. But when I got the call Memorial Day morning, I found I was ill prepared for the wave of emotion that washed over me. I stood in my kitchen making my famous wraps for our picnic, and the tears started to come. Before I knew it, I was sobbing. The hole I felt, that connection of generations had been severed and I felt at that moment the full force of it.
I won't even begin to talk about my income or that loss except to say that it has taught me so many things about myself this month. These are things that I have felt changing inside of me, but you don't know your true mettle until it has been tested. I am stronger then I was once.
In a previous journal I had spoke of the deconstruction and reconstruction that has been happening inside of me. The "mid life crisis" some people would call it. But it's not a crisis at all. It's more like I'm becoming who I was supposed to be before someone spilled coffee on the master blue print of my life. I surprise myself with the choices I make and the wisdom I have. For the first time in my life, I trust me.
The reason why I bother to mention any of this about the change is because had I not experienced the intense losses that I have this month, I would have not known how deep my strength is or how very thorough the Gods have changed me. Through all of this, I did not turn to my old ways of coping. I did not smoke. I am very proud of myself for that. The ethereal construction team in charge of my reconstruction has given me a beautiful foundation to build upon.
I may not know why all of this had to hit me this month, but I do know I was strong enough to with stand the storm and grew from the rain. There have been many blessings that have come my way this month. I chose to focus on those, and the benefit of this focus was that I maintained peace in my head, in my heart and in my home.

Even when you lose, you win.
Even when you win, you lose.
Life is about Balance.
Be thankful.
Focus on the Good.
I love you.
Pass it on.